7. Hardy Boy

Hi, my name is dirtskin

And my dinner’s on the bar floor

Caught my finger in a car door

When I was barely four

First said I adore you

To a girl at nine

I’m a twentysomething with plenty

Nicotine memories in my mind

They smudge the breaths

Beneath every damn line

 

Now, I’m outside the tavern

Leaning against the tree

Is the shaking in my blood or my nerves

I can’t see

Dadi’s an earthquake so the fear is not imagined

And nana loves the drink but he’s not a good captain

 

Yesterday night I got a call

“We’re shifting again

Oh, and nana tore his bicep”

When will it end?

I take a light step

What is my life’s debt?

They ask me how I’m doing

I tell them don’t fret

I’m so good at lying

Does that mean I’m good in bed?

Why stick to the truth

When you can pack up instead?

 

I’m afraid I’m so good at heading out

That it won’t be till death do us part

But signatures on printouts

And the next time I’d kneel

I’d have to say “Chin up, sprout”

To a daughter in tears

With a head full of doubts

 

My mind’s going a tad bit mad

Having downed one more beer

Than I should have had

Bottle clenched in hands

Trembling under these scans

Of life and strife

I want to bite the bullet

Oh, almighty jurist

What is life at its fullest?

 

Because my great grandma lived to prime ninety four

They told me she was robbed

She didn’t recognise me anymore

A twelve-year old on a diet of snoop reads

I checked every door thinking I could find the thief

 

Yeah, she’d laugh but what the hell for?
Amazon doesn’t fast track your past in a canistor

And it’s not the type of clean up for which to call a janitor

And Marty wasn’t waiting with a flux capacitor

 

I couldn’t solve then and I can’t solve now

Hell, put another fear on my tab

Because I just can’t count

I don’t have grounding

Tell me how much sand has fallen

Can I cobble some more

Or is there no way of stalling?

 

I wonder if great grandma dreamt

After the theft

I know dadi has a volcano of laughter left

And nana holds his whisky high

I might not be a Hardy Boy

But I think I’ll get by

 

My name is dirtskin

And my dinner’s on the car door

I’ve been out drinking

Since half-past four

First said I love you to a girl at nine

It’s ten to twelve now

And I’ve a lot on my mind

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