“Sandman, you’re a motherfucker.”
I said, head drooped over the sink
“You claim to sell dreams but they’re all with a wink.”
He smirked, proud of what he’d besmirched
I took a look at the clock, if only the hand would jerk
The way I wanted it to
But all it told me
Was that I had to wait before I had to leave
“Eyes here,” he said
“You’re not allowed to wonder off
Especially when you’re about to takeoff
You want to take on me? Be my guest
I beat you at chess. Now I’ll beat you in the chest.”
I glanced at my reflection
To see my eye turn black
My skin began to tear up
In a network of dirt tracks
My nose began to bleed
I sank in my shoes
My hair became grizzled
My heart had come loose
I reached for the concealer
Sandman blocked me
I fell down
Sandman watched me
“This was all your doing
You made yourself believe
That everything in your life is temporary
You want more sand
But you keep shaking the glass
Because you don’t think you’re strong enough
To make things last.”
“So tell me,” I rasped, “Why are you here?”
He sighed and tapped a finger on my ear
“You just don’t get it
Why do you think everything fits?
The time is never right
She called it quits
The wind is always blowing
You’re a proper Paddington
Things don’t happen to you. You make them happen.
You’d be fine with the rambles
If you were good at moving on
But you’re a hard-core romantic
In a daffodil lawn”
Somehow I managed to find my footing
My criss-crossed body stayed intact
But felt like pudding
I couldn’t take any more of his studious eyes
His metaphors, games, and devious lies
I was going to turn him to dust
I’d declare him unjust
The wind my executioner
Wrong Midas. Be crushed.
I punched the mirror
But his foul voice didn’t die
I felt my lips move
The sound was wry
“You think the man in the mirror
Is not the man in your bed
Boy, you look good when reflecting
But you die in your head
Aren’t you a jack of all hearts
This is what you always wanted
You think a single card
Had your life plotted?”
“You said it yourself
You didn’t want to be dirt
So walk on out there like a human
And conquer the earth.”